December 30, 2008
This year's Goals:
Finish A Knight's Peace by April
Finish Rebel Union by August
Have both edited by December/January
Begin and finish Who I Am by December
This is no easy task, but I'm up to the challenge. I will reach my goals, darnit!!!
She’s got the man—and the wedding—of her dreams. If only love were part of the fantasy.
Her Cinderella Complex is a sweet romance about a woman who is dreaming of happily ever after with a man who views their relationship as yet another business transaction. I enjoyed watching the development of their relationship. -- Gotta Write Network
"The characters were splendid and jumped off the pages. The whole concept of the story was very intriguing and was enough to keep me glued to the pages until I finished the book. Would this happen in the real world? It would be very nice if it did and I was Heather. The sexual tension was exactly where it needed to be." - Fallen Angel Reviews
"This is a fantastic story with very strong characters who were beautifully written and I immediately fell in love with both of them." The Good, The Bad, and the Unread
"Her Cinderella Complex was a wonderfully sexy and fun book...Their sexual encounters were extremely erotic...Her Cinderella Complex is the first book that I have read by Ms. Bayley-Burke and it won't be the last." The Romance Studio
"Her Cinderella Complex is a delightful gem that had me laughing out loud and rooting for these two people to make it. Just when I’d think I had the plot figured out the author, Jenna Bayley-Burke would throw me a curve, which kept me on my toes, and interested in finding out what happened next! The relationship between Heather and Curtis is a welcome and refreshing change from the typical alpha male and the all-too-willing-to-agree female pairings that tend to dominate these types of love stories. This is a fast-paced book that will not only have you smiling but enjoying the hot, steamy and sometime funny love scenes. At no point does the story drag. So do yourself a favor and treat yourself to having a good time while reading Her Cinderella Complex ." - Literary Nymphs
December 24, 2008
But I'll take the role and run with it. That way I get to be in charge of what we eat and what we do every holiday. Hmmm...not a bad trade off all in all.
December 23, 2008
How does a woman get past the shock of her fiancé leaving her at the altar -- for a man? For Kristen Carter, it involves throwing herself into her job as a journalist, and justifying that her life is much better without a man in it. Period. That is, until sexy and seductive construction worker Ayden McKenzie moves in next door. From the first moment she spies him naked through his bedroom window, she is instantly drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
But Ayden’s been around the block -- several times. Now he's craving the stability that a steady relationship can bring, and once he meets his next-door neighbor he feels he's finally met his equal. The problem lies in turning Kristen into a believer … even after an unexpected visitor turns their world upside down.
Read An Excerpt Here and Here
Book Length: Novella
Click Here To Buy!
December 16, 2008
Apparently I'm feeling a little nostalgic and depressed that I'm growing older and the kids are moving on with their lives. I know I'll get over it and Christmas will be great, but in the meantime I'm wallowing. So, sue me!
December 12, 2008
He was searching the house for a book to take to work with him to read when he's between loads and I gave him a copy of Karen Rose's book "I'm Watching You" and he says he really likes it. Of course he did say it took him a bit to get over the fact that men investigating serious crimes are looking at possible victims and thinking how hot they are. But the detective work and the crime scene information has him drawn in and he can't put it down.
I've tried for years to convert readers over to Romance, but no one seems to want to believe that there are such great authors out there in the Romance Genre. There's a serious misconception that Romance is a bad genre to read but I, and all other Romance readers, know that the Romance genre is the best selling genre in all of the publishing industry.
And now, there is one more believer added to our group!!
December 11, 2008
Lately I've been making excuses not to write. The kids are getting on my nerves and I can't write. KAM & CDM are at the house and I can't write. I had a tough day at work and I can't write. There are so many excuses it's just crazy. But the truth is I just don't think I'm good enough. I read voraciously and everything I read tells me I have no idea how to write. It doesn't matter tha I love it and I want to so bad sometimes I can taste it. The only thing that seems to matter is the little voice in my head that says "you're no good at this so stop trying".
How on earth do I get them to stop whispering in my ear? How do I make myself sit down and write without that little voice telling me I can't? Why do all my insecurities come out when all I want to do is write? Arrrggg!!!
December 04, 2008
Sensuality Rating: SCORCHING
Genre: Contemporary Erotic Romance with elements of Ménage a Trois M/F/M and Ménage a Quatre M/F/M/F
Length: 33,814 Words
Genre: Time Travel Romance
Heat Index: Hot with Explicit Language
Read excerpts or buy it here!
Dreaming of the past.
Hannah Falcon loves her job cataloging medieval artifacts and setting up the displays at the Natural History Museum in New York. What she doesn’t love is her father’s steadfast refusal to let her go on any of his archeological digs, or her friends insisting she date more. When a man dressed as a medieval knight shows up in the museum, Hannah mistakes him for her friend’s latest attempt at a blind date.
Sent into the future:
Sir Gavin of Rogueforth is a battle-hardened twelfth century knight, having seen and caused his share of death in the crusades. He expects nothing more from life than to live and die by his sword. After Gavin rescues a woman and her daughter from a band of highway thieves, she sends him through time to protect another Hannah, claim her as his own and fulfill his destiny. He doesn’t expect a woman who refuses to be protected.
Can a man in chain maille convince a twenty-first century woman to follow her heart? Can a modern day woman show a medieval knight there’s more to life than being a protector? When two people from two different times explore Manhattan during the holiday season will time be an obstacle or will they find the magic to span centuries under the mistletoe?
December 01, 2008
The house sat on the corner of Elm and Hickory, surrounded by a black wrought iron fence with little curly cue’s across the middle. The yard was overgrown and the paint was chipped and peeling. It wasn’t a particularly scary house, but the history of it was definitely juicy.
Mamie and Ashley Fellows grew up there and since Ashley’s death in 1965 Mamie had not left the house at all. Over the years servants had come and gone and rumors had spread as to the lonely inhabitant of the house. It seemed Mamie was not completely alone; young Ashley kept her company.
Melinda was sixteen when she moved to Evansville. The first time she passed the house on her way to school she fell in love and had to know more about it. Everyone she met was more than happy to tell her about the house and its history. The more she learned the more she wanted to see for herself.
Late one night Melinda and a young boy named David, who had lived in Evansville all his life, snuck into the house from an outside cellar door. They were eager to see Ashley for themselves but knew that if Mamie caught them they’d be in more trouble than either of them wanted to think about.
The inside of the house was just as run down as the outside. Since servants were hard to come by and Mamie was so old, the dust was caked on the furniture and cobwebs were abundant. Neither Melinda nor David realized they were leaving tracks behind them.
A scream tore through the house causing the hair on Melinda’s neck to stand on end. They stopped at the bottom of a curved staircase and looked up as a young girl in a mini dress and knee boots ran across the balcony overhead. As if an unseen force pushed her from behind, she fell over the railing to the wood floor below and disappeared. Before the two could catch their breath and gauge one another’s reaction, the scene unfolded before them again; the same girl, the same scream, the same fall to the floor below. Over and over Ashley, for it could only be Ashley, fell to her death.
Not once did they see Mamie come from her room to see what was happening. Having lived with it her entire life she probably no longer heard it. But Melinda and David could not believe what they were seeing. Ashley was killed in her own home. But why was she “reliving” her murder over and over? Melinda was determined to find out.
They left the house the same way they had entered and nearly a week went by before Melinda could get back in.
November 28, 2008
I did this one year with an ex sister-in-law. I worked nights at a local hospital as a clerk, but promised to go with her shopping as soon as I got off work. We hit the malls and a few of the smaller stores. Mainly I just helped her gather what she was looking for because at the time I was broke. I hated it. I don't like fighting crowds and I was already so tired from being up all night at work. And I swore I'd never do it again.
This promise to myself was more firmly rooted when I took a job at Wal-Mart during the Christmas season and had to work the day after Thanksgiving. It was even more painful to be on the opposite side of the check-out line that day. Fights, stabbings, muggings, all happening inside the store as well as out. It's amazing how grown women can become so animalistic over a Barbie doll or a Playstation. Personally I don't think a sale of any kind is worth all that hassle. But then, I'm not the normal woman who just loves to shop either.
November 26, 2008
We've known each other for 35 years. Now that's a lot of memory lane. We've been there for each other during every moment, both good and bad. She held my hand when my first love broke my heart. She was there when my children were born and when I divorced my first husband. She tried to talk me out of my second marriage (definitely should have listened to that one) and she helped dry my tears when I had to face the most horrible time of my life.
There has been love, laughter and tears in our friendship, but not once have we ever drifted apart. She's the rock I stand on when I need solid ground and I will always be grateful that she's in my life.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TAMMY!!!!
November 20, 2008
I've also finished a short story for the Writer's Digest Short Short Story Contest. The guidelines are 1500 words or less and I've got 1470. I like it, but it took quite a while to get those 1470 words like I wanted them. I'm pretty sure I won't win, but maybe I'll at least get to final. I'm excited about this one. The last one I entered wasn't even considered a short story. It's more of a memory. So, wish me luck!!!
November 18, 2008
My son came home from Iraq for a 2 week visit and my daughter-in-law and grand-daughter moved back to Nashville. I'm so excited to have them back with me. JAM left yesterday to go back to Iraq to finish his tour but I still have KAM and CDM to keep me company.
It was lonely at their new apt last night so KAM and CDM came back to the house and spent the evening with us. I'm glad she feels comfortable with our family and I'm glad she wants to be here with us. It's going to be great having them in our lives.
My best friend turns 40 this month and then I follow after her in a couple more months. When I was a teenager this age seemed so much older to me. Now I realize that I'm not getting older, I'm getting better. At least in some areas. I still have a few issues to work on with my weight and exercising that I didn't have to bother with when I was younger, but other than that, my life is finally going like I've wanted it to for years.
My kids are growing up and for the most part they'll be able to handle anything that comes their way as adults. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and who I love dearly. And I still have a job (even if I don't know how long it will last). So, all in all, I'm just plain thankful for everything in my life!!
November 10, 2008
November 04, 2008
October 30, 2008
On Monday we got in the car and drove from San Antonio to Nashville, TN; about 1000 miles. We had to stop over in AR to sleep because we just couldn't bring ourselves to drive any longer. We got home Tuesday evening and went to bed early. I was exhausted!
And Surprise! Surprise! Yesterday afternoon JAM came home from Iraq for his 2 week leave. I'm so excited. I've got the entire family here and I'm loving every minute of it. And we're going to have another small party for CDM on Saturday for those here who couldn't be in San Antonio for the big party. It's gonna be great.
October 24, 2008
October 21, 2008
On another note, my middle child turned 18 yesterday. I'm feeling a bit nostalgic and I'm feeling a bit blue, but I know it's time to let go, at least a little bit. I can't let go completely, of course, becuase he's still my baby and always will be. But he's growing up, just like the oldest did, and just like the youngest is going to do when she turns 18 next year. I'm beginning to feel the empty next syndrome thing even though they haven't moved out yet. But I know I'll be fine and so will they.
JAM, the oldest, is coming home from Iraq for a 2 week visit next week. And I'm going to San Antonio this weekend for his daughter's 1st birthday and to bring my daughter-in-law & grand daughter back here to stay. I'm so excited. I can't wait to get my hands on CDM. She's growing up so fast, just like her father, uncle & aunt did, and I want to experience as much of her life as I can. I know eventually they'll be stationed somewhere else and I won't get to see them so this little bit of time will be all I have. At least until one of the other kids gives me grandkids (which I hope is a long time coming, mind you!).
I may be feeling a little blue, but at the same time I'm looking forward to just being me again. For so long I've been "mom". I'll still be "mom" of course and now I'll also be "mammaw" but to be just me will be a welcome change. I won't be making decisions based on what the kids need or want. I'll finally be able to base a decision on what I want for a change. So, maybe empty nest won't be as bad as I thought.
October 09, 2008
According to the rules you can't whine about not having time or this got in the way and I couldn't make my goal today. And You can't go back and edit what you've written; you simply keep going and leave everything, even inconsistencies alone. That's the hardest part for me. But for the past 2 days I've been doing it.
I did 5 pages the first day and 18 the next. Not quite my goal, but much more than I've ever done before. And I'm so excited about it. I might actually finish a manuscript. I can't wait until I type THE END!!
October 06, 2008
October 04, 2008
October 02, 2008
October 01, 2008
They’re growing up now and I feel the empty nest syndrome coming on full force. JAM is already married with a 1 yr old daughter for me to spoil. JWM will turn 18 in three weeks and will surely choose to move out not long after. And baby HNM will soon be 17. The time flies by so quickly and when you look back you can’t see where on earth it went. I miss being the center of their world, but at least I know they will always be the center of mine.
Lance is a Wizard. He’s not a great wizard, but he’s all right. Descended from a long line of wizards, his brothers taunt him for being slow to learn. And as the youngest, it’s his due course to accept such teasing. Life is good, and normal. For a wizard that is.
Cassie is a Shifter. A tigress to be exact. Raised by her father after her mother’s death she’s as well adjusted as any shifter can be, and still live in the human world, hiding who and what she is.
Bliss comes to a screeching halt the night Satanists kidnap Cassie and her best friend to use as sacrifices to bring forth their Dark Lord. When Cassie literally collides into Lance, she begs him to help them escape their captors, despite the dangers. The couple work together to save the life of Cassie’s friend, only to discover a shocking passion driving them closer together at a time when both should be devastated. But when Lance overhears Cassie’s father threaten his life, he heads for the hills. Cassie follows, determined to clear up the confusion. But evil is still afoot and Cassie is taken by a secret government organization dedicated to the eradication of all things magick. Is Lance willing to put his life on the line for a woman he believes is out to kill him? Especially when he realizes the organization that’s taken her, is the one he works for?
Unlike the worlds most shapeshifter authors envision in books, the beast that reigns in today's city streets are the kind which walk on two legs 24/7. They aren't half man and half "beast" but instead are all man.
Humans rule this world and Tigers, Lions, and all the other big cats must share their limited space. They have no choice. The end result, often, is a cat who's been used, abused, neglected and often destroyed due to our ignorance and negligence. It is up to organizations like Big Cat Rescue to pick up the pieces, and that's where you and I come in.
For the month of October, Teresa D'Amario will donate 40% of all author proceeds for Tigress by the Tail to Big Cat Rescue. Help these wonderful, powerful and sleek animals.
So what exactly is Big Cat Rescue? Big Cat rescue is one of the few organizations within the continental United States which takes in cats from a variety of sources - zoos, retired performers, abandoned pets, or even abused animals from other organizations. This video does a great job of "telling it like it is".
And how will our donation be used? I felt it was best to simply include the statement from their website:
Florida law requires that all charities soliciting donations disclose their registration number and the percentage of your donation that goes to the cause and the amount that goes to the solicitor. Our registration number is CH-11409 and non-program expenses are funded from tour income, so 100% of your donations go directly to save the cats. We are a 501 c 3 charity as determined by the IRS Federal ID#59-3330495. Our 990s are available online at GuideStar.org with a complete breakdown of how your donations are spent.Wow! 100% of our donation goes to the care of the cats. You can't get better than that, can you?For the month of October, 2008, helping these awesome creatures can't be any easier! Buy a copy of Tigress By the Tail from any number of book stores including Amazon.com or Barnes and Noble. Let's give back a little and For the cat's sakes, Let's MAKE A DIFFERENCE!And for your viewing pleasure, let's take a look at what these great beasts look like when happy and healthy. This video was compiled by Berith, a young 17 yr old girl in Europe who is also concerned about these beautiful creatures.
September 30, 2008
Beauty and the BeastsbyAva Rose Johnson
They don't just want her for the full moon...they want her forever
For centuries the Kingdom of Drayzlake has been divided between the humans and the wolves. But when a wolf crosses the Divide and bites the humans’ princess, all hell breaks loose. With wolven blood now running in her veins, Princess Abigail is forced to mate with a wolf every full moon. What she doesn’t realize is that she is mating with two wolves rather than one. Caine and Stavros are identical twins and soon-to-be Alphas of their pack. And they’re tired of taking turns.
So on one moonlit night after another vigorous mating session, Abigail finds herself kidnapped to the wolves’ quarters. Trapped in their fort she can’t deny the two beasts who desire her so, and locked between their powerful bodies she can hardly remember her own name. But it soon becomes clear that these sexual games are as dangerous as they are delicious. Because Caine and Stavros don’t just want her for the full moon…
Read an Excerpt/Buy
September 29, 2008
Dear “A Knight’s Peace”,
Here it is the middle of October and I still have not finished with you. I know I promised I would be done this year, but so many things have happened that I just haven’t been able to get around to it.
The laundry always needed washing when I started that first sentence. And God forbid the floors needed mopping before I opened that research book. I’ve also noticed that each time I took you and the laptop to the park there were so many interesting people to watch that I just couldn’t concentrate on you. I am so sorry for neglecting you.
But I swear I’m going to get you finished. I have about 2 months left. Surely I can write 100,000 words by then.
I really do want to finish you,
September 27, 2008
Beautiful Blue Eyes
Man, he's hot!!
September 26, 2008
When you read (or write) an historical romance novel it's naturally focused on the relationship between the hero and heroine. Of course most writers research pretty much every aspect of the time period they're writing about which includes the daily habits of people. For instance, in the 14th century, where my current WIP is set, most people did not bathe every day and sometimes not even once a month, yet I would never dwell on this in my novel. It would detract from the essence of the story. And, let's face it, no one wants to read about a hero who smells like an unwashed horse and a heroine who has six inch leg hair and breath so foul a dog would turn away.
So, if you ask me, an Historical Romance Novel Heroine is the way to go. You get the most romantic guy on earth and he loves you even though the hair on your legs is longer than the hair on his head and he thinks your kisses are sweet as honey even though you have a snaggle tooth smile. What more could a girl ask for?
September 25, 2008
September 24, 2008
September 23, 2008
The lure of a demon lover is difficult to resist, and impossible to leave, because sex is highly addictive. Sex with a demon is known as the rapture, since it brings absolute pleasure so intense that it is almost painful. But is the price worth gambling your life and your freedom?
Now available exclusively at Phaze Books
You can read more at Missy Lyon's webiste www.missylyons.com
September 22, 2008
"I'll get the bill this time," I said, reaching for the bill the waiter lay on the table between us.
"Are you sure? I think you got it last time." Tam reached for the bill but pulled her hand away when she saw what was written on the bottom.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
I looked down at the bill and noticed a sticky note that said, "I'm you're husband's son. Call me at 555-1234."
"Oh, my God. What on earth?" I looked toward the cash register but the waiter was gone. When I looked back at Tam her face had turned the color of a winter sky.
"What's going on, Tam? Who was that?" I asked.
"Why are you asking me? Ed doesn't have a son." She reached for her purse and I saw her hands were shaking. "Maybe Nick has a son you don't know anything about," she said.
"Well, I doubt it. Nick told me years ago about an abortion, but that certainly isn't his son. Besides you look like you've seen a ghost." I pulled the sticky note from the bill and handed it to Tam.
"I don't want that. I'm telling you Ed does not have any children. He would have told me." She stood up and headed toward the door.
I put the note in my pocket and paid for our meal. When I got to the car Tam had calmed down and smiled at me as she got in the passenger seat. I let the subject drop and we made plans for next week as I let her out at her driveway.
When I got home I pulled the note from my pocket and dialed the number. "Hello," a young man answered.
I hesitated but finally said, "Uhm. Yes. You left a note on my table at Bledsoe's tonight. What's going on?"
"My father is Ed McMillan. Are you his wife?"
"No. I'm her friend. What are you trying to pull. Ed doesn't have any children," I said.
"Yes, ma'am he does. I'm the product of an experiment he and his wife conducted a few years ago in Washington. He was the sperm donor and she was the scientist on the project. When the backer found out what they'd done they tried to abort me but it was too late. I was found by a custodian and she raised me as her own."
I realized I was holding my breath and let it out slowly. "That's impossible. Tam isn't a scientist. She's a clothing designer. You must be mistaken." Or crazy, I thought.
"I'm not mistaken. Or crazy either. My mother told me all about it. Ask your friend." He hung up and I called Tam right away. I couldn't believe what this guy was telling me.
"Tam, the guy at the restaurant? He just gave me the strangest story," I said.
"I told you to forget about that guy, Char. He's obviously some weirdo," she answered.
"Well, that's probably true. But I couldn't help myself. I was too curious to let it drop." I laughed and said, "He says he's the product of some experiment and that Ed is his father. And you're a scientist who thought up the project. How ridiculous is that?"
"Like I said, he's some weirdo. Now just forget about it, Char." Tam's voice had gone ice cold. I couldn't believe my best friend would lie to me but there was definitely something strange going on.
"Ok. Ok. I just thought you should know in case he goes to the media with it," I said. "Well, good night, Tam. I'll see you next week." I hung up the phone and went to bed.
The headline in the morning paper caught my attention. Local Waiter Found dead; Top Designer Accused of Murder.
September 21, 2008
September 20, 2008
September 19, 2008
September 18, 2008
How on earth do you pantsers let go?!?
September 17, 2008
Available September 17th from Ellora's Cave
Linnea is no one special. So why is she on the run from evil faeries and her egotistical ex? Why is she suddenly spending time in the company of dragons, druids, and one kinky Viking with a split personality? All she knows is she has to keep her daughter safe from those who hunt her, and her heart safe from another betrayal.
To protect one gifted child and all of humanity from the dark god that seeks retribution, they must learn to trust each other. To have a future together, they must find the perfect balance.
I went to Bradshaw’s Pond often to be alone. I lived with my mother at my grandparent’s house and was constantly surrounded by about 15-20 cousins. My grandparents had 15 children with 9 living at that time and believe it or not my mother was the only girl in the bunch. We all lived door to door and there were quite a few of us, so a little peace and quiet was hard to come by. Bradshaw’s Pond became my sanctuary.
There are a lot of memories linked to that place. My grandfather took me fishing there when I was very young and I have a scar on my back from climbing under the fence while he held it up for me. He even let me keep the first fish I caught in a bucket and bring it home as a pet. My first kiss took place under the trees there and of course it’s where I went to write.
Why this day was special compared to any other I don’t know. Maybe I was writing my first “just for me” story or maybe something “teenagery” had happened and I’m remembering the feelings I had about it. Or maybe it was just a beautiful day. Either way it’s a wonderful memory that I will hold onto forever.
Now, when I go back to visit, everything has changed. Very little of my family is left on the street, just a few uncles and aunts and none of my cousins. And my wonderful sanctuary has been filled in and is now just an open field. It saddens me to see the desolation when my memories are full of beauty. I know things change but my memories will be with me always. And Bradshaw’s Pond will always be my special place
September 16, 2008
September 15, 2008
"Hey, Char, it's Tam. I need a favor," Tam whispers.
"What's up Tam. You in jail or something?" Char laughs.
"Yeah. I downloaded some music to my laptop and I need you to clear it off before the cops find it."
"You're kidding right? This is some sort of weird joke you're pulling?" Char couldn't believe Tam had actually been arrested. She'd pulled some stunts before but nothing that major.
"No. Now listen. My laptop is in the closet in my bedroom. I need you to get it and delete the music files," Tam said. "I gotta go. My one call is almost up. You gonna do it for me?"
Char shook her head and said, "Yeah, Tam. I always do."
Char hung up the phone and sat down at the kitchen table. This was real. Tam had been arrested and she wanted Char to help cover up her crime. She stood up and walked toward the door, picking up her keys on the way out. She headed over to Tam's apartment a block down.
No cops. I guess they haven't gotten the search warrant yet, Char thought and shrugged.
She used her key to get in and headed straight for the bedroom closet. She could take it home with her and no one would ever know she'd been here. That seemed to be the safest way to go. She locked the door behind her and walked back home.
Char put the laptop down on the kitchen table and pulled up a chair. Once the desktop came up she opened the music file and started the delete process. I wonder what other weird stuff she's got on here, thought Char, chuckling to herself.
A file named "Top Secret" seemed to leap off the screen at her. Her hand hesitated on the mouse before she finally opened it. They'd been friends for a long time but she'd never spied on her before.
Hmmm. Password protected. I wonder what could be so 'top secret', she thought. Char entered the password, the same thing Tam had used on every document since sixth grade, and pulled up a list of what she assumed were places Tam wanted to visit.
"Now, why would a file of vacation brochures need to be password protected. This is wierd," Char muttered to herself. She opened the first document, "Sandy Beaches", and nearly fell out of her chair when she saw what Tam was keeping secret. Tam was running a phone sex business and Char had just found the list of client conversations.
"Oh, my God! I wonder if she'll let me use some of this in the erotic romance I'm writing," Char laughed and continued reading.
September 14, 2008
September 12, 2008
I love to learn new things. This could be a blessing and a curse I guess. A blessing because I can adapt to new things easier than some. A curse because I'm so busy learning something new that I use it as a procrastination tool. I put off my writing by learning something new about the craft.
Although I'm not near where I want to be in my current WIP, I am writing and that's what matters right?
September 11, 2008
Well, at least I know that eventually I'll lose the weight I want to lose and be healthier for it.
September 09, 2008
Every time I email or work on a report I'm constantly editing. I go back and change the way I worded that last sentence or restructure that last paragraph so that I don't offend anyone who might happen to read it. And I find myself doing the same thing when I'm writing.
How do I make it stop? Aside from quitting my job and staying home to write full time (which I can't afford to do) I haven't figured it out yet. But I'll keep working on it. Eventually the editor has to sleep right?
September 04, 2008
So, why did I stop? Laziness mostly. Even though walking makes me feel better during the day I just didn't want to get up so early. I like my sleep. And the Morning Pages also cut into my sleep time. I know I need these things to feel better about myself and my day, but I just can't seem to make myself get up early and do them.
So, starting on Monday, I plan to turn over a new leaf. There is absolutely no reason why I can't get up 30 minutes earlier and walk around the block, then come back and write my Morning Pages. I just need the motivation and drive to do them.
August 25, 2008
August 14, 2008
Now that my oldest is over the teenage years he is beginning to open up and talk to me more, but I'm still waiting on the two youngest to hit that peak. I look forward to hearing all the things they have going on in their lives; something I don't get near enough of now.
August 12, 2008
It's not a drastic change, just cutting back on what I eat and exercising more. But I think it will help alot. Although this first couple of days have been terrible. I want chocolate!!! But the outcome will be a better me so I'm going to stick with it.
August 11, 2008
August 02, 2008
I took 2 teenagers to the mall to shop for back to school clothes. That was my first mistake. And apparently not paying attention to where I parked the car was my second. We got our shopping done and stopped at the food court for lunch. No problems all day, we got along with no arguing or pestering or crying; at least until I realized how much I spent. lol
Then we left from the same door we entered and couldn't find our car. We searched for 30 minutes, all 3 of us going up and down each aisle at least 3 times each. It was funny when I first realized I couldn't remember where I parked. Then it just got old. I knew I had parked there. I drove in one aisle, turned down another and parked on the right hand side. But now my car was not where I left it.
So, I went back inside the mall to alert security. They were very nice, asked what kind of car it was, then one of them went to look for it. Another put the kids and me in a car and drove us around to see if we could spot it. I was very frustrated by then. We stopped on one aisle to wait for some people to back out and others to pull in (it was really packed). My daughter piped up from the back seat "Mom, can I get out and see if that's our car?" Of course I proceded to tell her that could not be our car because I did not park anywhere near there. The security guard rolled down the window and I hit the panic button just to show them it was not my car.
And guess what happened? The alarm went off. I had parked my car 3 aisles away from where the kids and I were looking for it. Yep, I have definitely lost it.
August 01, 2008
We have one customer who comes in every month to pay his bill who dresses a little out of the norm. He's an older man, somewhere in his 70s. He always wears the same thing; a faded light blue button up shirt and a pair of faded blue pants (the kind my grandfather used to wear). Now, you know that when a woman dresses she has to match her shoes to her handbag, right? Well, this gentleman doesn't carry a handbag, but he does match his shoes to his outfit. A nice pair of blue pumps. I kid you not. The first time he came in we didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. Until he started to walk out after his payment was made. We heard this nice little clip, clip, clip as he walked out. None of us could believe it. We determined to get a picture next time, but we're always too late or too busy. Maybe next time.
We have another guy who comes in who's just a bit OCD. And my partner gets creeped out by him because there is obviously something serious going on in his pants. There's a large object (we have no idea what it could possibly be) down the length of his leg. His hand is usually in his pocket on that side and he pulls out wet money. It's a bit gross. The OCD part comes after he's made his payment. He has to count the change several times both in his hand and by laying it down on the counter, then picking it up again. After he leaves he always goes to the paper boxes outside and open/closes them one at a time until he's satisfied that they're all the same. He then gets in his car and places his receipt on the dash, takes it off, replaces it several times, before he leaves the parking lot. Very strange guy.
These are just a couple of examples. There are many others, not to mention the ones I encountered while riding the bus this past winter when my car broke down. Let me just say that long brown fur coats and purple suede shoes were seen more than once.
July 30, 2008
I feel intimidated every time I sit down to write Rebel Union. I don't know if it's because it's a novel which will take a long time to write or if it's because I'm not as interested in the characters and plotline as I was at first. I've made a lot of changes because I'm afraid I won't be able to write what I had originally planned for it. Maybe I should just go back to the original plot and stick with it. If I need to do more research I can.
I'm going to check out the Not Going To Conference Conference over at Romance Diva's tomorrow for the workshop on Historical Research. That might help quite a bit.
July 27, 2008
I remember my church camp and I have to tell you we didn't have near the amenities. As I recall there were lots of woods, a lake, and plenty of mosquitoes. But I had one of the best times of my life that summer. And I know she'll have a wonderful time, too. She'll meet new friends, see things she wouldn't otherwise be able to see, and she'll worship God. How much better could it be?
July 25, 2008
I wonder if I can close my eyes and picture myself as the character and feel what he feels or see what she sees, then would that help. This writing thing is much harder than it looks. Most people think it's so easy to create a whole world, but it's not. It's a good thing I want it so bad or I'd stop thinking about it altogether.
July 24, 2008
Along with all the history and the original buildings from the 1700s, I also noticed that the town has a Chocolate Festival every year. While that will not be the main reason I visit the town it will definitely influence when my visit occurs.
I love chocolate as much as any respectable woman on the planet and I will gladly participate in any tastes test they have available. But I will also visit the museums and antique shops and I will eat in the Row House Restaurant. I'll take in all the history and charm and bring home with me plenty of ideas and research materials. And if a little chocolate finds its way into my suitcase then so much the better.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.?? Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it? I'm a TV guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel? I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
I was certain t hat these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated with honors - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals; we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof?No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become'.
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work onsomething that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my s on to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know....
July 23, 2008
July 22, 2008
I'm also terrified that I won't be able to figure out how to express what my characters are thinking and feeling in a way that makes sense. I've never stopped to think about why I do the things I do; I just do them. But from what I understand, the more I write, the better I'll get. One can only hope!
July 21, 2008
I remember so many things about my childhood, but the one thing that stands out is how we all knew without a doubt that we were loved, not only by our parents, but by everyone in our family. We all lived side by side, we were all in and out of each other's houses, we fought of course, but we always made up. We always had someone to talk to or play with. I'm missing that now and I'm sorry that my own children haven't gotten to experience it. Some of my cousins have never even met my children and for that I'm also very sorry. We're all missing out on so much.
hearts in anquish, souls bereaved
Lift your face, your soul, your heart.
God's love will keep us ne'er apart.
Trust God's love and do not grieve,
For in Him I do believe.
Cry not for me but sing God's Grace.
Today I see my Father's face.