June 25, 2009

Happy Anniversary

Today I celebrate the day I married MJM. 2 years ago today, we drove to the courthouse downtown and said our vows in front of the County Clerk. No family ceremony for us. We'd both done that twice already and decided it was not what we wanted this go around. It was a nice ceremony and we left as man and wife. That's all we really wanted anyway.

We were both pretty gun shy about marriage. I married my first husband right out of high school and for 5 years things went steadily downhill. I believed that I had to stay married even if it meant living in a situation that was not healthy; my mother married and divorced several times and I didn't want that for myself.

He was a drug addict. I knew in the back of my mind that I didn't need to marry him, but being young and "in love" I did it anyway. The drugs steadily became more prevalent until they were all there was. There was also abuse, both physical and emotional. I put up with it and told myself that I could change him. Of course, now I know that would never have happened, but at the time I wanted it to work. Finally, after 5 years and 3 kids I realized how stupid it was to stay in a potentially dangerous situation and so I got out.

Only I went from one bad situation to another. I was 25 years old with 3 kids under the age of 5 and was terrified that no one would want me. I went out with a couple of guys but not anyone who wanted anything more. Then I met the guy who would be my second husband. He was not abusive then but he was a recovering addict. I thought that was a good thing but soon found out it could change at the drop of a hat. For awhile things were good but that soon changed. The drugs took over and other things came out that I never would have dreamed possible. He turned out to be worse than my first husband; not abusive toward me personally but toward my kids. I never knew for the longest time, but it started getting worse until finally my daughter told me what he'd done. Needless to say I left immediately and never looked back. That marriage lasted for 8 years and it took a long time for me to even consider marriage again.

Until I met MJM. And I'm so glad I did. We dated for 4 years before we married and I wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world. He's a wonderful man, my kids love him, and he encourages me to pursue my dreams. What more could a woman ask for? Happy Anniversary, Honey!

No comments: