August 17, 2009

Procrastination?

Saturday morning I was in that state between sleep and awake and found myself pondering why I procrastinate so much on my writing.

When I was a kid I loved to write. I'd write anything, from copying down other books to making up my own stories. I had a beautiful place to write and would take my notebook and pencil down to the pond and just lay in the grass writing all day. I loved it.

Then I got married and had kids and started pushing my urge to write down to the bottom of my list of things to do. I never took the time to write just for myself anymore. I would make out lists of things that needed to be done and I would occassionally write a poem, but for the most part anything writing related was tamped down so hard that it finally quit rearing it's head. Sort of like my self esteem suffered from my husband's emotional abuse.

Over the years I've slowly started writing again. But I also notice that I still have that urge to tamp down my desire to write even when I have time and something to write about. And I don't know how to stop it.

Is it just procrastination that every writer goes through or is it just a habit that I've developed over the years? Is there a way to overcome this "problem"? Do you suffer from the same thing?

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